I’m former CSPC ministry intern Christian Hardin, and this is how I’m living deeply. 

“My story with KICKO (Knoxville Inner City Kids Outreach) started long before I was even aware of it. My grandparents founded the ministry 30 years ago, just a few months after I was born, so I’ve been around KICKO my entire life. Growing up, I watched my grandparents live out their faith in a way that was deeply incarnational; ministry wasn’t just a job, it was their life. But it wasn’t until sixth grade that KICKO became real to me. Alisha Ballenger, who was on staff, started picking me up after school to join her at ministry sites like Austin Homes and Walter P. Taylor Homes. Through that, and during Wednesday nights with the KICKO youth group, I began to understand the legacy my grandparents had built. That made me proud and planted the first seeds of ministry in my heart. But it was still their thing- I hadn’t grasped the role God had for me yet. It wasn’t until college that His call on my life really began to take shape. At the STEM Academy, where I led YL (Young Life), I was drawn to the students who, like me, didn’t quite fit into the mold. There were kids from all over Knoxville, many from the inner city, and a surprising number of them knew my grandparents. It was like no matter where I went, KICKO was a theme that was always there. By my senior year, I was walking closely with about twelve students. That was when I began to see that God was using me, not just for ministry’s sake, but to build relationships that could transform lives. Discipleship became my passion. I was 22 when I finished college, wondering, ‘What’s next?’ I thought about joining YL staff, but that probably meant moving away. I wasn’t big on that idea, especially since I was in a serious relationship here that I hoped would lead to marriage. Alisha Ballenger was working at CSPC by this time, and she encouraged me to apply for an internship at the church. After a lot of prayer, I applied and was accepted- I started in the fall of 2016. Working alongside Alisha and other people I knew from YL made the transition easier. That started a whole new chapter of my faith journey.

My time at CSPC was both challenging and transformative. When I started my internship, I was stepping into a youth ministry that was in a state of transition. The staff who’d hired me were no longer there, and I was left to navigate a lot of uncertainty. It felt like I was trying to help keep momentum going for the youth program without a lot of support, while still figuring out my place in this new environment. How was I going to connect to these students I was supposed to be helping? It was a humbling experience that stripped away everything I thought I knew about ministry. Again, I came from a ministry background with YL, where so much of the focus was on performance and putting on programs (and this isn’t a bad thing; YL’s scale requires it and God works through it!). But at CSPC, I quickly realized that ministry is also about so much more than the programs we run. It’s about showing up, being consistent, and trusting that God will work through us, even when we feel like we have nothing to offer. The first year was tough. I was in a place where I had to drop all the things that weren’t essential and get back to the roots of what drew me to discipleship in the first place. Relationships were at the core of everything. God was teaching me to rely on Him completely. I had to learn that ministry isn’t about what I can do, but about being a vessel for what God wants to do. It was a year of just enough- just enough energy, just enough resources, just enough faith to get through. But it was also a year of deep growth, where I learned the power of consistency and the importance of relationships over programs.

The second year at CSPC was like a breath of fresh air. The challenges didn’t go away, but the staff settled in, and I started working with Sarah Braden and Scottie Hill, who became good friends. It made it hard to leave when the internship ended. Around that time, I took a job in communications, which quickly taught me that remote work wasn’t for me. I needed people around me, and I missed the relational aspect of ministry. As that door was closing, KICKO came back into the picture. My grandmother had a stroke, and my Uncle Michael had to step into her role, which meant the youth ministry at KICKO had been on hold for three years. When my uncle asked if I’d be interested in helping restart the youth program, I hesitated. I needed a break after CSPC, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to jump back into ministry. But after a few months, I felt God nudging me. So, I started part-time, figuring out how to run a program from the ground up. I had no experience in this, but I knew God was calling me to step out in faith; it wasn’t about being perfect or having all the answers. I had to build a team, so I called up my best friend, Nolan, who also did inner city ministry at South Doyle. And I was like, ‘Hey, I need help. Can you help? I need van drivers, I need cooks.’ Early on, our vans’ catalytic converters got cut, and when we started them up, we both looked at each other out of the windows like, ‘These sound like tanks. We are going to pick up kids, and it sounds like we’re driving war machines!’ Then we put them in drive and drove off because we were like, ‘Well, we gotta do it.’ Those first few years were great-  tough, but sweet. It was so simple then: picking up kids, telling them about Jesus, playing games, showing up, eating overcooked food, because that’s just what we had to do.  I remember putting nuggets & fries in the oven, going to do pickups, then coming back to pull the nuggets & fries out, hoping they hadn’t burned. Again, it was about showing up, being present, and trusting God to work through our efforts. I was learning ministry isn’t just something you do; it’s who you are when you trust God with your life and relationships.”