I’m CSPC member Jalen Pham. This is how I’m living deeply. 

“I felt like the world hated me. I’d let down all of Tullahoma, the small town where I grew up. There, like pretty much any town in Tennessee, the two most important things are football and church. Friday night is high school football, Saturday is college, and Sunday you’re at church. My family was a little different. My dad’s Greek, my mom’s Vietnamese. They came from Greek Orthodox and Buddhist backgrounds, but neither was really instilled in me. I’d see the Buddha altars up, we’d go to church occasionally -Easter and Christmas- but nothing serious. My community was built more around sports -I played football, soccer, and track- and it was always around me, whether it was the town cheering us on or my friends. I always had a friend group. But junior year of high school, everything changed. All my friends were juniors and seniors, and they graduated. Sports wasn’t going to be the same without them, so I just called it quits. Football was over. Soccer, track, everything was over. So I had to go find a new group. But it wasn’t the best group. We were partying on the weekends. Typical small town stuff- field parties, running around town, getting in trouble. It was fun till you got caught. December of senior year, I got caught. Got in trouble for underage drinking. My family’s pretty involved in the town- my parents own a restaurant, they know everyone, everyone knew me. I was giving rides to two of my assistant principal’s kids. So when my license got taken away, I had to make that call: ‘Hey, I can’t pick up your kids anymore.’ It hurt so much. I still see one of those kids back home. He’ll say, ‘Jalen, why aren’t you giving us rides?’ He thought so highly of me, and I let him down. I let all these people down, including my parents, who’d done so much for me. They were like, ‘What did we do wrong?’ I was like, ‘Y’all didn’t do anything wrong. I just made a mistake.’ But it was a big mistake, and the whole town knew, and in my mind they all suddenly thought the worst about me. It was hard to walk around town anymore.

I was applying to colleges during all this. I ended up getting waitlisted from UT, got accepted to Ole Miss, and was going to go there. Then at the last second in May, I got accepted to UT. Me and my family were like, ‘Shoot, it’s cheaper. My cousin’s going there, too. And growing up in Tennessee, I love UT football, so might as well go!’ But my first few months at UT, I was still in that headspace of thinking the world hated me. Then I meet these guys from Campus Outreach, and they’re inviting me to come check it out. The first few weeks, I kept saying no. Then in October, I finally said, ‘Okay, I’ll come.’ I heard my very first message from [UT Campus Outreach’s] Mason Leaf, and I felt like it really applied to my life. He was asking: What kind of Christian are you going to be? Are you going to be a Christian on the sidelines watching life go by, or are you going to be a Christian who’s actively evangelizing and getting involved? At that point, I was like, ‘Okay, why does the world hate me? Maybe I should go get involved, so the world will love me.’ From a worldly point of view, that made sense. So I kept coming back. Then they started talking about this New Year’s Conference in Chattanooga going on over four days at the beginning of the new year. They’re like, ‘You should go.’ I’m like, ‘No, I just spent the past four or five months up here, I’d like to see my family.’ They’re like, ‘Bro, it’s four days out of your however-long winter break.’ I’m like, ‘You’re right, but oh shoot, I’m a broke college student.’ Response: ‘Oh, we’ll spot you the $200-300.’ ‘I’m not driving down there by myself.’ Response: ‘Oh, I live up in Nashville, I’m passing right through Tullahoma, I’ll come pick you up.’ And there went all my excuses not to go. They broke down every single barrier. Throughout this time, I was starting to feel God’s love- not knowing what God’s love was, not understanding why these people loved me. I had been in this mindset of thinking the world hated me, but they were showing me love. Maybe shame didn’t need to define the rest of my life after all.

Throughout that period, my friend Javon had been going through the gospel with me. I’m hearing all these stories, and I’m like, ‘There’s no way this God can love me this much.’ Then, the first night of the conference, Pastor Charlie Dates told us, ‘God loves you. He’s not waiting for you to perfect yourself, He’s going to meet you where you are.’ And I was like, ‘Man, I don’t have to be perfect! God’s going to love me and meet me where I am.’ That was when I gave my life to Christ- that night, January 2025. For three more days, I was just listening and learning. It was the start of my new life. The rest of the conference was just this community showing me God’s love. All these speakers wanting to pour into us, teach us. I met this one guy from Arkansas State. He heard my story up to that point and was just like, ‘Dude, can I just give you a hug? You’ve been through a lot, but God has still found a way to bring you to us.’ Man, the world didn’t hate me! More important, God and His people loved me. I had never felt that kind of love before. God had my heart. A few months later, I joined Campus Outreach’s summer project in Orlando. Nine weeks of working at SeaWorld during the day, then after your shift you’d go home, shower, and get ready for training. We’d have training on evangelism and learning how to study the Bible, then we’d go out to the theme parks and talk to random strangers about Jesus. One of my first nights, my head was kind of down because nothing had really happened. I’m kind of hanging back from the group, and I see this guy. I’m like, ‘Dude, I really like your shirt.’ So we start talking. He’d just moved there, works for Amazon, maybe a few years older than me. I tell him I’m down there for nine weeks sharing my faith. He’s like, ‘Dude, I’m not going to lie, I’m Hindu, but I’ve been looking into Christianity a lot.’ I’m like, ‘Oh dude, let me tell you about this God! Let me tell you about Jesus, the guy who died on the cross for you!’ It was my first great conversation, and I got a picture with him. He’d gone to the University of Texas, so I had fun with him (Horns down, I go to the real UT!). Now I’m praying God waters the seed.

Coming back from Orlando, people were like, ‘Jalen, you’ve grown so much.’ And I hadn’t really thought about it, but I guess I had. And I still am. I’ve started two Bible studies: one here at UTK with about 10 guys coming every Monday night, and one back home over FaceTime with three of my best friends from Tullahoma. One just graduated high school and stayed home to work, another went away to school, and one’s in the Coast Guard. A few weeks ago, those three friends came up for a football game. When they talked, it was just a lot of worldly stuff: girls, drinking, stuff like that. They knew high school me, so they talked like I was still that guy. But now we were on two different wavelengths. I talked to the youngest guy the next night: ‘Why the girls, why the drinking?’ He said, ‘To be honest with you, man, I just want y’all to like me.’ The oldest guy was doing it, so he was copying him. His honesty was amazing. I’m like, ‘Dude, you don’t have to drink, you don’t have to party, you don’t have to be obsessed with girls for us to love you. You’re literally conforming to what everyone else is doing.’ He claimed to be a Christian. So I told him, ‘If you’re going to conform to anything, we’re part of a generation actively growing in our faith and seeking revival. Seeking answers. Conform to that.’ I asked what was stopping him. He said community. I’m like, ‘Dude, listen, I’m up here, I’m part of this campus ministry, I’m learning. Let’s start reading together. Let me be your community. We have FaceTime- we can do this. It’s not like we have to write letters back and forth.’ That same night, my Coast Guard friend told me about the hard stuff they see: people trying to come into the country, drug busts, fires. I asked how he gets through it. ‘We just go drink.’ I told him, ‘Y’all made me really uncomfortable last night. All this is not forever. The girls are gonna leave, the drink’s gonna dry up, the hookups are gonna stop. Why are you still chasing after it? You know there’s a love that is forever. Why aren’t you following that?’ Now these friends are reading the Bible with me, two chapters a week.

I guess God’s just instilling in me the courage to go out, share the Word, and make disciples wherever I am. I love Him for what He did for me, for meeting me where I am, for giving me a loving community. And I just don’t want the people I love most to miss out on that. My parents have been so supportive through all of this. They’re great, and they’ve actually started going to church again. (The nearest Greek Orthodox church to Tullahoma is an hour and a half away in Nashville, so it takes some real commitment!) My mom asked me recently, ‘Jalen, how do you wake up and love to go to church so much? Your siblings just hate waking up to go to church.’ She remembers me yawning as a little kid, waiting for the service to end so we could go get some food. But now it’s different. CSPC is helping me grow in my own relationship with the Lord. I love Him myself now. Church isn’t just something I do because I’m supposed to or because it’s tradition or whatever. And I think my parents and my siblings are starting to understand more and more what God’s doing in me. My one brother’s 13, getting to the point where he can start having his own relationship with the Lord. The other two are 11 and 8, so they’re little- of course they’re not going to enjoy it as much yet. But I told my mom, ‘When you understand what Jesus has done, when you have your own personal relationship with Him, when you love Him for what He did for you- that’s when it changes everything.’ It’s not where you start, it’s where you keep going with your life. I come from a family of Greek Orthodox and Buddhist immigrants, and now I’m an evangelical Christian walking with Jesus, discovering new things about Him every day. It’s all God’s plan, and the story’s not over yet- not for me, not for my family. I’m just trying to live it out in front of them and show them what God’s love looks like.”