I’m CSPC member Jaxon Contreras. Here’s how God’s enabling me to live deeply. 

“It’s midnight in Thailand. I’m about to go to bed, lights are turned off, my head’s on the pillow, and I hear a knock at the door. I look through the peephole and it’s Eugene in his pajamas. He says, ‘I’m back.’ My roommate Malcolm is dying laughing- because he jokingly told Eugene he should sleep over earlier, but we didn’t think he was serious. I’ll tell the whole story of Eugene in a second, but I wanted to start with that snapshot for a reason: Because it was part of God changing everything I’d once thought about how He works. I’ve wanted to be a missionary since high school. God just put it in my heart- I wanted to see the world and tell people about Jesus who’d never heard of Him before. So this summer, I went to Thailand with Campus Outreach for five weeks. We were at Khon Kaen University- 30,000 students, and most had never heard the name of Jesus. Our main goal was just to connect students to the local ministry. We’d go to lunch, play basketball, and eat this amazing, shaved ice dessert called Bingsu with them. The Thai students were definitely interested in us because we were Americans, and maybe also a little intimidated at first. But here’s the thing: We didn’t have to hunt for gospel conversations. Students would come up to us and ask, ‘Why do you guys treat us so well? Why do you love us?’ Because it’s uncommon, right? That’s not seen in our world today, especially in American culture, where people are often so self-involved. They saw the way we treated them and loved one another, and they wanted a piece of that. One guy literally asked me, on our first day meeting him, ‘What’s your purpose in life?’ Amazing! I just got to share: ‘I want to love God and love people.’ He was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’ve never thought about that before. That totally changes my mind.’ He thought I was some deep philosopher, but I’m like, ‘No, I just read my Bible and go to church, bro. I’m nothing special.’ Those sorts of questions came up a lot, and every time, I was like, ‘Thank you, Lord, for a chance to share a piece of the gospel.’

Okay, back to Eugene! Once he showed up by surprise (to us) at midnight, we pushed our two twin beds together and made a mega bed. All three of us were lying there (I didn’t even have a blanket, so I was in my raincoat!) and Eugene -in broken English- asked us what our purpose in life was, why we cared so much about him, why we loved him so well. We were able to share the gospel and say it’s all Jesus. Eugene had been coming around our ministry for a while- he came to a retreat we helped host and played basketball with us quite often. Earlier that night I’d been giving his buddy, who didn’t speak much English either, a haircut, and my roommate Malcolm jokingly told Eugene he should sleep over. Eugene joked back, then left. Later Eugene texted: ‘Hey, I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll be back.’ Malcolm thought he was still joking and kept joking back. I didn’t know anything about it. So there we suddenly were at midnight, three guys crammed in a mega bed, and Eugene is asking us the deepest questions about life and love. Two nights later, he asked to sleep over again. He’s like, ‘Can we run it back?’ – those were his exact words. We’re lying in bed and Eugene said he really liked the worship songs from our retreat. Malcom pulled up ‘Come to the Altar’ on his phone and pulled up the lyrics, and all three of us are in bed worshiping and singing. Here’s this Thai kid who two days ago probably still didn’t even really know of Jesus -who knows how much he understood of what we said?- and he’s lying in bed worshiping and singing with us. I was crying because it was so unreal, the way God moves. About a week after we left Thailand, the Thai Campus Outreach staff sent us an update email saying Eugene asked them about Jesus, wanted a Bible and wanted to read it. Now he’s in an investigative Bible study. I couldn’t have planned any of this. I couldn’t. It was all God’s Hand in it. Just to hear this Thai kid who didn’t know Jesus worshiping was so awesome- and now he wants to go deeper. God works in such mighty ways, and I’m praying He’ll be fruitful in Eugene’s life, giving him a softened heart with fertile soil.

Do you believe in ghosts?’ That was the first question another Thai student asked me our second day on campus. I said, ‘No, but I believe in the Holy Ghost.’ He kind of disregarded it. Then 10 minutes later, out of nowhere, he says, ‘Yeah, I don’t know what happens when we die.’ That was where the ghost question had come from. He was wrestling with mortality, with eternity. I was like, ‘That’s a great question. Can I share what I believe?’ I told him I’m a Christian, I believe in Heaven and Hell, and when you die, you go to one or the other; no middle ground. I asked how he thought you get to Heaven. He said being a good person. So I kept asking questions: ‘Is there such thing as a good person?’ I pulled out my iPad and drew the bridge diagram from Romans 6:23, leading up to the need to put our trust in Jesus. I was the first Christian he’d ever met. I never saw him again after that day- I kept inviting him to our events, but he never came. Praise God, though, the seed was planted! This trip taught me so much, but the biggest thing was that when it comes to evangelism, I’m not in charge and I can’t do it alone. I always intellectually knew Jesus was the one to save people. In a practical sense, though, I also sort of thought I could do it and be their savior myself. But God just kept placing me in these situations that never would’ve happened if I was just there planning out everything by myself. He broke me and showed me: ‘Dude, this wasn’t you. This was all My doing.’ Growing in my ability to trust God was big. He also grew me in patience- I learned it takes time to love people first and build trust before we can faithfully share the gospel. Some of the students we met weren’t ready to engage in spiritual conversations yet. That’s where I have to trust God that, in due time, He’ll draw people to Himself- and the Campus Outreach staff will be there for them. Finally, I tasted God’s sweetness through the team I served with- we hung out, had fun, and when we were together, laboring wasn’t laboring. Scripture says the fields are plentiful, and I’m still praying God will bring a great harvest from this amazing trip.”