I’m Tion Weaver, part of the program staff at KICKO (Knoxville Inner City Kids Outreach), a CSPC local mission partner. Here’s how I’m living deeply.

“Growing up without a dad around wasn’t easy. My parents were never married, and they split when I was really young- maybe six or seven months old. It was just me, my twin sister, and my mom trying to make it work. But even that wasn’t stable. When I was around 6 or 7 years old, we went into foster care. I bounced between different homes for about two or three years, learning bits and pieces about life from different people along the way. Most of the people raising me were women, so I learned things like cooking and cleaning, but I missed out on the basic things that boys usually learn from their fathers: how to shave, tie a tie, that kind of stuff. I still can’t tie a regular tie- I’ll probably figure it out from Google someday, but for now I only wear bow ties. The longest I stayed anywhere was with these two older women in Chattanooga. They were strict but loving, very disciplined. They took us to church every Sunday and Wednesday, made sure we went to good schools. Looking back, I can see how God was working even then, putting people in my life who would care for us. But growing up mostly around women also meant I could have conversations easier with women than with men. My dad was incarcerated during my elementary school years, so our relationship was already strained. Not really knowing how to talk to him just added another layer of complication. I was learning that I couldn’t depend on having the stability other kids had. And I didn’t realize it then, but God was already teaching me something important about dependence.

Through the Amachi mentoring program in Knoxville, God brought Susan and Mitchell Moore into my life- and they became two of my biggest role models. They taught me lessons I still use every day: how to drive, how to communicate properly, manners, being on time, even simple things like drinking water instead of always having soda. They opened me up to a broader range of life experiences than I’d ever had before. Those soft skills they taught me? I use them constantly. I’ve gotten every job I’ve ever applied for except one, and I think it was because I learned to always show up 15-20 minutes early and knew how to communicate in interviews. Without God showing His love by matching me with the Moores, how would I have ever known that? Those skills have helped me overcome many hurdles. But the biggest test came when I had to write a heartfelt letter to my dad. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had to tell him I felt like he had favorites- that he gave more attention to my twin sister than to me. There was this one time he brought her a backpack and I just sat there empty-handed, waiting. It wasn’t really about the backpack; it was about feeling like I was looking for his love and attention. I was so nervous writing that message, but he responded positively. He told me he didn’t want me to feel that way. He also explained the place in his heart he was coming from with the backpack: the need to provide for and protect my sister- a lesson he was, in his own way, trying to instill in me. I was only a little boy, so I just didn’t pick up on it at the time. Having that conversation -finally being able to express my feelings instead of masking them- felt like such a relief. Honestly, I saw him so little growing up. He was there for moments, but I never quite felt the comfort to call him Dad. It’s still awkward for me to call somebody that- I’m still working on it. But God has used a lot of things -the Moores, the letter, growth in maturity for both of us- to get my relationship with my dad to a good place. There’s progress. And we’re still growing.

KICKO came into my life through the Boys and Girls Club in my neighborhood. I’d go there after school, and during summers there was Camp Ba-Yo-Ca, where I met Bill and Janice Clark (KICKO’s co-founders; Mr. Bill and Ms. Janice, to me). Then Mr. Bill introduced me to Mr. Michael (Michael Clark, now KICKO’s executive director) and I got involved in KICKO activities after school. God really started to get a hold of me through a camp I went to during high school with Christian Hardin, KICKO’s youth director. I’d always believed in God -I’d been in church my whole life- but I wasn’t truly confessing my sins and letting them go. During the altar call on the last day, I didn’t want to go up, but I knew I had to let go of what I was holding onto. When I went up and Christian hugged me, it felt like all the weight came off. I was filled with the Holy Spirit in a new way. That’s when I realized God had been preparing me to become a leader- someone who will lead others to Jesus. I was involved in KICKO all through middle and high school, and when I graduated, they asked me to apply to join their Emerging Leaders program. I had to apply like a real job -resume and everything- but I got it. As part of that, Christian asked if I’d go on a mission trip to help with Sidewalk Sunday School (the same outreach ministry KICKO does here in Knoxville) in Puerto Rico. I said ‘yes’, and from the moment our plane landed, they trusted me to lead everything. The first day we led the kids in a song, and it went so well, they had me lead a second song we hadn’t even practiced! I could feel God really growing me as a leader. I used to look at people in church who seemed so much more spiritual than me, and I wanted to be where they were. I didn’t understand that to get there, you have to fight spiritual battles first- you have to experience who God is. And He’s been doing all that in my life: from walking me through confession of sin at camp, to following His lead & going off script in Puerto Rico, to now being on staff with KICKO and leading outreach to the Western Heights neighborhood, Wesley House, and Emerging Leaders. God’s been so good to me.

The biggest thing I’m learning through everything is how to be dependent on God. I’ve always been independent because being dependent means waiting on someone, and people didn’t always follow through for me. So it was hard to be dependent on God, too. But I’m learning to ask for help – even small things like when I’m cooking 65 sliders for the kids at KICKO on Thursdays! Christian will come back and ask if I need help, I’ll say no, but then he’ll just start cooking anyway to help. Help is nothing to be ashamed of. You can always ask for it, especially from God- because when you think you’ve got it all figured out, you’re usually missing something. Now when I train the new youth leaders at KICKO, I tell them the same thing: ‘I’m here. I can’t teach for you, but I can give you what I know, and if you need help, let’s look in the Bible together.’ God created us to be dependent on Him- so when we ask for help from the people he’s put in our paths, we’re just embracing more who He wants us to be. Life is sort of crazy right now, so I’m seeing how God’s helping me all the time! Besides working at KICKO, I go to school at Pellissippi State. When I thought I’d have to change my major totally  before I even started because all my classes were way out in Hardin Valley and I had no car, God provided the bus system and the scholarship money I could use for Uber rides. More recently, when I was stressed about getting my own car (worried about buying a lemon!), He put Christian in my life to sell me his reliable one. I also think God’s helping me learn the lesson of time management now, as I balance performing in church productions with school and all my work at KICKO. He’s constantly there reminding me to recharge with Him directly, not just through the things I’m doing for Him. Embracing His help, watching Him work- it’s awesome. He’s even taken my story in a direction I never expected: through KICKO, I get to be that godly male voice so many inner city kids need in their lives. The very thing I missed so badly growing up, I get to provide for them. Dependence on God can lead you to surprising places. And He’s not done with me yet- there’s so much more to my story.”