I’m Millie Lovett, a high school senior serving with CSPC Student Ministry, and this is how I’m living deeply. 

“I was in the car with my mom, parked outside church, crying. I wanted to leave. I didn’t know why I was so anxious, but I was. It was the summer before seventh grade, and my mom had gotten an email from the CSPC Student Ministry about some fun summer events. Ice cream Olympics, messy games, movie outings- it sounded amazing. I told her, ‘I’d love to go.’ The first couple of times, I brought a friend, which helped. But then she stopped coming, and suddenly, it was just me. I still wanted to go -I loved the leaders, I was making friends- but every single time, as we pulled into the parking lot, panic set in. What if I didn’t fit in? What if people judged me? But there was another voice in my head, one that told me, ‘Walk inside.’ And every time, I did. I’d step into the room, and I would have the best time. I’d be greeted by the kindest people. One of them, Jessie Collins, always made a point to talk to me and to joke with me. I started to feel like I belonged. I kept coming back, even though the anxiety didn’t totally go away. Seventh grade fall camp was a turning point. We had a speaker who told stories all week, and on the last night, he shared something deeply personal- about losing a child. I remember the whole room in tears, and for the first time, I felt the presence of God in a deep, personal way. That night, they gave us cards to mark where we stood: ‘I’m already a believer,’ ‘I just became a believer,’ or ‘I still don’t know.’ And for the first time, I confidently checked, ‘I am a believer.’ That was the moment everything started to change.

Before that night at fall camp, I knew about God. I went to church. I could tell you He was real. But I didn’t understand that He was a person I could have a relationship with. That He was my friend. That He actually cared about my fears and my insecurities. That realization changed everything. The anxiety I felt about walking into church kind of slowly went away. By the summer before high school, I wasn’t just attending, I was overjoyed to be there. I looked forward to every event, every small group, every worship night. The place that once filled me with fear was suddenly helping me get close to God, and it was beautiful. I was so much happier. And now, I get to help others get to that place. In my sophomore year, I joined the high school leadership team. By junior year, I was leading middle school girls, who remind me so much of myself at their age. I see the way they wrestle with insecurity, with wanting to fit in, with the pressure to be the funniest, the prettiest, the best. But I get to look them in the eyes and tell them what I wish I had fully believed at their age: God is for you. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to carry all this pressure alone. You don’t have to be afraid. Because no matter what happens, no matter how you feel, no matter how much your life changes, He will love you unconditionally. He’s not just there- He’s your friend, and He will never let you down.

The summer after junior year, God used a couple experiences to keep changing me. I spent two weeks on The Edge camp work crew, followed by a mission trip to St. Louis. At The Edge, I was there to serve: setting up events, running tournaments, making middle schoolers feel welcome. It was exhausting, but I loved every second of it. And then came the night when the kids had a chance to give their lives to Christ. Our work crew leader, Sarah Braden, told us, ‘The Devil hates this day.’ She wasn’t kidding. That day, the cafeteria caught fire, so dinner was delayed by two hours. And the air conditioning in the chapel shut off, so it was just blazing hot in there. It felt like everything that could go wrong did. But you know what? So many kids surrendered their lives to Christ that night. I’ll never forget that. Watching God move, changing so many people, despite every obstacle- it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I came home on fire for Jesus. My junior year had been full of challenges: classes were hard, friendships were hard, and I had moments where I felt completely alone. But instead of letting negative thoughts take over, I’d started running to God. When I had negative thoughts, I reminded myself, ‘Jesus wouldn’t want me to say that about myself.’ And I’d replace the lies with truth. Jesus was using those hard times to make me a different person. I started looking for Him in everything. And my experience at The Edge took that to another level. God was not only showing me that you can see Him in everything, but also changing my heart to realize He was calling me to be a leader and to serve.

The mission trip to St. Louis was another thing God used to impress this calling upon me.  Every morning, we tutored kids at a small school, and I got placed in the fourth and fifth-grade class. Right away, I clicked with them- probably because they reminded me of my little brother, Benji. I loved their goofy phrases, the way they laughed at my jokes, how they wanted me to play with them at recess. We didn’t have deep gospel conversations, but I kept thinking, ‘Maybe they’ll remember how I treated them. Maybe they’ll see a glow in my heart or something and think we were really sweet to them, and want to know why.’ And maybe that will click with something else and lead them to Jesus. That’s what I pray for. Just recently, I received a letter I had written to myself during the trip. In it, I had listed so many kids’ names. I’m praying for them, hoping they’re doing well. I might never see them again, but I can still pray. Hopefully one day I will see them again, but praying for them feels like I’m just as close. This past year hasn’t been easy. High school’s tough. I feel like every six months, I’m a new person and something stressful’s always happening. Knowing that I can talk to God about these things is truly amazing. I don’t know what I would do without knowing, throughout high school, that He’s my friend. Looking ahead, I don’t know exactly what the future holds. I’m headed to Georgia Southern for college, where I’ll run track and start working toward becoming a pediatric occupational therapist. But I can see myself working more in student ministry as I get older, too. When I was younger, I didn’t really have much interest in being any sort of a leader in a church setting. But Sarah Braden and Jessie Collins, two of my student ministry leaders, have been so impactful. They’ve been with me all these years and care about me so much. Seeing how these two women have lived their lives with Jesus has been such an inspiring thing. It’s shaping me. I’m so grateful to see, on a daily basis, strong women who love Jesus. And I know that’s who He’s created me to be.”