I’m Gennie Whitaker, and I want to share with you about someone who meant the world to me and knew what it was like to live deeply: Nancy Holstad.  

“How would I describe Nancy? Without a doubt, most notable was her deep, deep faith in God. She was a faithful prayer warrior! She wasn’t just someone who prayed; she lived and breathed prayer. There are probably many people who don’t even realize that she had been praying for them. The most important part of her day was her early morning quiet time, and it had to be extremely important for anything to get scheduled for that time of her day. Also, her heart was completely wrapped up in missions. Nancy was always informed and actively involved in supporting CSPC’s mission efforts. She prayed for, financially supported, and connected with missionaries all over the globe. Nancy and her late husband, Vern, had been missionaries themselves in Nova Scotia before Vern settled into pastoral roles in Pennsylvania and then here at CSPC. They knew the hardships of the mission field, and their care for those in the mission field was genuine and deep. Even at 94, she drove herself to church every Friday morning to pray with the Missions Prayer Team. Nancy’s calendar was a testament to how full she kept her life, even into her mid-90s. She had one of those paper Hallmark calendars she kept in her purse (which she jokingly called her trash bag), and every single day was filled with something, and most days multiple things: lunches to encourage fellow widows, Bible studies, or other church activities. She was a member of the choir and Knoxville Christian Arts Ministries for years. She loved music and, even when she was unable to physically be up in the choir loft, she attended choir practice and participated from a seat in a pew. At 94, she still lived with a sense of purpose and was sharp as a tack. I’d often tell her, ‘Nancy, I’d be exhausted if I were you!’ She just kept going, never slowing down, and always still on mission.

I first met Nancy when I was single, back in the mid-80s. At that time, she was CSPC’s Christian education director and married to one of our dear pastors, Vern Holstad. My friendship with her grew later in life, especially after Vern passed away in 2013. By that time I was married, had two children and was involved more with things that happened during the weekdays at the church. That’s when I started to get to know her tenderhearted and fiercely independent spirit up close. During the last decade, I had the honor of being very involved with the care-giving of the older folks in our personal lives: my mother, in-laws, aunts, uncles. I called it ‘walking them home’- helping as they navigate the challenging final chapters of their lives. So, when I saw Nancy struggling one Wednesday morning at church, it felt natural to step in. She was having a particularly hard day with her arthritic knees getting into the Grace and Truth Bible Study with her cane, her book bag, and her purse. I offered to carry her things and let her take my arm, and she gratefully accepted. It became our routine: every Wednesday, I’d walk her down the mission hall to her small group. Over the next couple of years, my assistance to her increased. I started meeting her in the parking lot, helping her get into the building, and eventually even helping her back out of her parking spot after Sunday services to make sure no one got in her way. Nancy didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, but the more time we spent together, she came around to acknowledging when she needed help, and she trusted me to be there.  Over time, we formed a deep friendship that was built on mutual respect, love, and trust where sensitive subjects were a safe place to share.

Our time together was a blessing to both of us. We both shared our struggles, knowing they would be prayed for. We had lots of time to talk, to cry & pray and, at times, to laugh. We shared our vulnerabilities, our fears, doubts, and anxiety about dealing with life’s uncertainties, and encouraged each other to keep turning it back to God. With both of us being bossy, there would be times that we would butt heads, but we were able to make a joke and get through it. We shared a lot of moments together- some of them small, like bandaging her wounds after a fall, and others significant, like getting her through her cancer surgery this summer. As opportunity would arise, we would talk about dreaded subjects like using a walker as her arthritic knees were getting weaker, using a wheelchair in crowds where someone not so steady on her feet could easily fall, and the possibly of eventually making the move to an assisted living facility. All of these were scary subjects for someone who was so used to being so independent. Nancy was a fascinating person to spend time with- definitely entertaining and never a dull moment! For instance, when I was ‘driving Miss Daisy,’ even though I’ve been a local all my life, Nancy would tell me which lane to get in and where to turn. When my husband Bob was driving, he would say, ‘Great! Now I’ve got two backseat drivers! My wife telling me to go slower, and Nancy telling me to go on!’ And Nancy LOVED to eat out! She would order a big lunch and take the leftovers home for dinner. Some of her very favorites were Chop House, Sami’s Café, Chuy’s, Carolina Ale House (including an order of their delicious Macked Out Donuts) and Tuk Tuk. The waiters at all those places knew her and would always welcome her. At home, she was always stocked up on all of Kroger’s finest bakery products like chocolate chip cookies & cinnamon cream cheese muffins. Her diet must have been agreeing with her as she was 94 and took NO prescription drugs! Also, Bob and Nancy shared a love for Tennessee sports! When UT football, basketball, or baseball was on, she knew when and what channel- and made sure she would be there to watch it.

Nancy’s home was meticulously organized- she balanced her checkbook ‘old school’ in the check register, she kept everything filed, and everything in her life was handwritten. It was very, very rare for Nancy to miss church. She had a special sofa in the reception area where she always sat and greeted her friends. Everyone knew to scoot out of her place when she arrived. Nancy would always tell anybody who would listen how precious her Vern was to her. She carried a picture of him and her in her purse and would proudly show it to anybody she could. She also loved to tell the story how she was determined to get married in a pink wedding dress, something that wasn’t done much back then, because that was her favorite color and she looked good in that color. Then, on June 25, Nancy fell and broke her hip. That was when everything really started to go downhill. Nancy was a couple of weeks into radiation treatment after her cancer surgery and Bob & I were scheduled to take her to treatment that day. I called her that morning and got no answer. I knew she was in trouble when we got to her home and her garage door, which she usually opened knowing I was coming, was closed. We found her twisted and calmly lying on the floor where she had fallen in the kitchen. She had been there for hours, unable to get up. We called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital, where the next day she had hip surgery. She tried so hard to rally and muster the energy to get back on her feet- but the truth was, she was worn out. The cancer surgery, her mobility issues because of her knees that had resulted in several falls, and her determination to keep going in spite of that had taken a lot out of her. Kathy Smith and I took turns being with her every day to serve as a cheerleader to her and an advocate on Nancy’s behalf to the hospital staff. As weeks went on in the hospital and rehab, it was clear she was nearing the end of her journey. She wasn’t in pain, she wasn’t anxious, and she mentioned several times that she was ready to go be with Jesus and Vern.

Those last days, Nancy was visited, received a ton of cards, and was called by so many of her dear friends. Her room was filled with flowers and gifts. She was dear to many, many people. She mostly stopped eating and drinking her last couple weeks, and she was often too weak to talk with visitors. I believe when she closed her eyes that God was close with her, calming her and abiding with her in her last days. I will always remember her opening her baby blue eyes and looking deeply into mine as we would say goodbye for the day. She would always tell me how much she loved me and thank me for being with her. I loved her, too. I wasn’t there at the very end, but her son Scott was. I believe that’s what she was waiting for. Once she was able to see him for the last time, God called her home. The moment had finally come to see the Lord she’d served so well face to face and of course to reunite with Vern. Nancy went to be with the Lord on August 5th. Nancy’s life was such a testimony to me. Her knowledge of & love for God’s Word, her faithfulness to pray for others, and her love for & devotion to our church has left a huge mark on all of us. She told me numerous times how blessed she was by her CSPC family. My hope is that the story of how our friendship came to be will encourage others to care for our older folks or those who are alone at CSPC. It’s not just about providing companionship; sometimes it’s about being their advocate, being a physical presence when life is hard for them. It’s a sacrifice that can take up a lot of time and energy, but it’s also rich and rewarding to our own souls to walk alongside someone who needs you so much. I know this journey with Nancy was part of God’s story for me. He used her to grow my patience, and to teach me the value of investing in relationships that might not seem convenient, but are rich with love and joy. I feel incredibly blessed to have been a part of her life, to have the privilege to be one of the ones ‘walking her home.’ It’s not something I ever planned, but it’s something I’ll carry with me forever.  I will certainly miss my dear friend, but know most assuredly I will see her again!” 

 There will be a “Remembering Nancy Gathering” at 6pm in the Chapel on Sunday, September 29.