I’m Patton Dewalt, and this is how I’m living deeply.

It’s been five and a half years, and I was only in sixth grade, but I remember everything. October 11, 2018 was the day my older brother almost lost his arm. We were on a family camping trip in the Smokies. I was back at the campsite just chilling with my dad and someone else, and my brother Cooper, sister Emma, my mom and a few other people had gone on a hike. Suddenly Emma came rushing down: ‘A tree just fell! Cooper’s arm is broken!’ It ended up being a lot worse than that. A huge tree had basically crushed his left hand. They called an ambulance and Lifestar helicopter to get him to the hospital and save his arm. Cooper’s recovery wasn’t quick. He had six surgeries, couldn’t move his arm for months, and missed several months of going to school because he was in such pain. It wore on our whole family seeing him like that. I missed a few days of school because I was worried about Cooper- a lot had happened and I just didn’t feel like going back. My mom was like, ‘Yes, it’s okay to miss a day or two because of that.’ So I stayed home and we just had some family time. Cooper’s five years older than me, so I didn’t really understand much that was going on back then. He just went through a lot, including OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and doubts about his faith, which his serious trauma from the fallen tree sort of brought to light. He ended up getting help for all that and came out the other side, a year and a half later, with a much stronger trust in God. That deepened my own faith, too. In eighth grade, I talked at the CSPC Blitz (a getaway weekend for students) about how watching Cooper helped me grow closer to God and start to lean on Him. I kind of started to realize God’s there, and He has a plan. And my brother- that all happened for a reason. God knew that was going to happen and it was part of His plan, in the bigger picture, for Cooper’s good. But what also really helped was my CSPC small group. We’re all friends, and we hang out outside of just the normal Wednesday and Sunday nights when we meet as a group. They just comforted me through that and prayed for me.

Whether small group is helpful depends on what you put into it. If you go once a month and don’t say much, you’re not going to get anything out of it. But if you go consistently and get to know the people in your group, you can really feel God’s presence through that. During Cooper’s recovery, I was really tight with an intern named Garrett. He was always there for me: ‘Let’s get lunch or play frisbee golf or whatever.’ We’d spend time together and I could forget about the bad things for a while. Another leader who’s meant a lot is Jordan Tibbetts. He’s still my leader in high school and one of my better friends now. These guys and so many others help connect me to God. On Sunday nights, we’ll spend the first 20 minutes just hearing about each other’s lives. Then we’ll dive into the Word, and I feel like I leave with a lot less confusion than I go in with. It’s made such a difference, I felt God putting a desire in me to be there for someone like that. So last fall I became a buddy with Knoxville Capernaum, Young Life’s special needs ministry. My buddy is great- he has Down syndrome, is nonverbal, has a ton of energy and is so fun! We eat together, play foosball or ping pong, then go into the Young Life club where we sing and dance. Even though I was unsure of myself at first, I’ve learned how to connect with him- and that’s God at work through my weakness! I’ve also started leading a small group for middle schoolers at CSPC on Wednesday nights. My first night, I was nervous: ‘I don’t know if these kids like me, don’t really know if I should even be here.’ But I’d already committed. During worship we sang a song about gratitude that really connected with me. Suddenly I felt God’s presence- like He was reassuring me I was doing the right thing. A month later, I went to fall camp and grew really close with the sixth grade guys. Now I love going to this small group! I know how huge it is to have a community where people point you to the Lord. When you feel His presence, especially as He carries you through something hard or uncertain, the joy leaves you a little speechless. Following Jesus with others is the best decision you could ever make.